I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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