I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
