i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
