pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
