I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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