please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize