seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just pee around me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize