How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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