Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
