This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
