Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
