It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
