A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
