3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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