Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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