im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
