I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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