i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
