I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
