Welp...herpes.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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