I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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