not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
