? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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