And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
