Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
