forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you will always have a special place in my vag
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
