did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
