i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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