PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have tasted many bathrooms
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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