Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
