THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
