You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize