Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I haven't been this sober since birth.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
