How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
