my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize