We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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