oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
