She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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