I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
