We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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