Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I stole a fireplace last night.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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