Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
