how can u be prego again
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize