He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
