I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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