Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
are you so shy because you have an std?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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