Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
