She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
