You're so nebulous sometimes
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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