he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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