I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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