im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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