im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize