If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
