the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
