I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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