Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
worst night to have a conscience
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
