You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
