So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
