Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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