...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
