Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
