I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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