New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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